Harry Potter and the Seven Dwarfs
by OwletOlivia55
Summary: Getting lost on his way to find face Voldemort in the Forbidden Forest, Harry comes across the home of the seven dwarfs. The Dark Lord has a temper tantrum for not getting his way and the Dwarfs try to negotiate for another book/movie about them. Rated for slight language.


Hello readers, Olivia here. This is just a silly little oneshot, but I'd love some reviews to help me writing. Thanks!

** . **

Harry Potter faced the Forbidden Forest. Inside waited Voldemort, but this was the only way to buy the others time to get away, to get to safety. Voldemort said he would be waiting for Harry at the heart of the forest. Harry took a breath and squeezed the golden snitch he held in his hand. Putting the seeker's ball back into his pocket, Harry stepped into the forest.

Twenty minutes later, Harry was convinced he passed that tree three times now. Harry Potter, the boy who wouldn't die, was lost. It was laughable, really. He got lost on his way to die. Continuing on, Harry found a worn dirt trail. Deciding whether to attempt to go back in the forest, or follow the trail, Harry decided on the latter.

** . **

Voldemort stood impatiently in a clearing. Potter had ten minutes left, he had to come. Potter was too stubborn and headstrong not too.

"My Lord, perhaps the boy has decided not to come. Can I lead our forces to Hogwarts, now?" Bellatrix Lestrange became quite excited at the prospect of fighting. A crazed glint appeared in her eyes and she held her wand tightly at her side.

"No! The boy will come, he wouldn't risk the lives of those he loves so dearly."

Bella pouted but stepped back, returning to the group of Death Eaters behind him.

** . **

Harry stopped dead in his tracks when he saw what was ahead of him. A cosy looking hut was built at the end of the trail. Harry took a hesitant step into the clearing, was this some sort of joke by the Death Eaters?

The bottom half of the split door opened, and seven little men marched out, singing. They carried pick axes and buckets in their hands and their clothes looked like a smaller version of Hagrid's.

All singing and cheerfulness from the little people stopped when they spotted Harry. An angry looking one stepped forward. He reminded Harry of one of the dwarves from a muggle story he read in school.

"Who are you and whataya doing here?" The small man snarled the words at Harry.

"I-I'm Harry Potter and I'm a bit lost. Who, may I ask are you?"

A dopey looking man stepped forward to reply, "We're the Seven Dwarves of course."

'That book,' Harry thought, 'Was called the Seven Dwarves. They were miners.' Harry looked at their pick axes and buckets. With a heavy THUD, Harry hit the packed earth of the trail he was previously walking.

One of the dwarves swore and stepped forward, "Dammit, I hope we ain't gunna have to go through the same thing we for Snow with this guy."

** . **

Time was up and Voldemort was quite upset. Harry Potter never showed up and battled him. The Dark Lord pouted as he and his death eaters marched to Hogwarts. When arrived in the courtyard, people began to pour out of the castle, looking mournful. Some were even crying.

"WHERE IS HARRY POTTER!?" Voldemort yelled at the crowd. Confusion replaced the tears and the mudblood called Granger stepped called back.

"What are you talking about? He went into the forest to KILL YOU."

"NUH UH! Potter didn't come to me and I WANT MY FIGHT."

"Aww, did wittle Voldy not get to battle the big bad seventeen year old kid?" Luna taunted Voldemort.

"STOP IT STOP IT STOP I-"

Voldemort's tantrum was cut off was seven dwarves marched into the courtyard. How they got here, no one had any idea. On cot, carried on their shoulders lay Harry. Many anguished shouts came from the 'light' side.

"Relax, he's not dead." One said.

Another swayed forward, "Yah, he collapsed when we told 'im we are the Seven Dwarves."

"Like the story?" Came a shout from the crowd.

"Unfortunately," The seven muttered simultaneously. Muggleborns and those who had heard the story fainted; people from both sides of the yard.

Voldemort approached the body of Harry Potter. "Enervate!" Harry's emerald eyes popped open and focused on Riddle's wand pointed at him. "Avada Kadavra!" Harry eyes lost their light and turned dull and unseeing.

Voldemort turned around and began skipping around the courtyard. He climbed up a pile of rubble and shouted, "I KILLED HARRY POTTER! I WIN! I WIN! I W-"

A green jet of light hit Voldemort's back and the evil man few to the broken stones, dead.

On the 'light' side, everyone was now awake and promptly rushed forward to the now living Harry.

"Harry, how are you alive?" Ginny asked.

Harry flashed a smile at the ginger, "I'm Harry Freakin' Potter, The boy who lived. One little curse can't kill me." He pulled Ginny to him and kissed her.

Turning to the crowd surrounding him, he shouted. "BUTTERBEERS ALL AROUND AT THE THREE BROOMSTICKS ON ME!" Cheering, the group made their way to rubble filled Hogsmead. Entering the pub, butterbeer started flowing into mugs and everyone was drinking. In a quiet corner of the partially destroyed building sat the seven dwarves and a man.

"We want another book, this time about us saving Harry Potter, the wizarding world's chosen one."

The man shook head, "Sorry guys, but someone already owns all the rights to write Harry's story. You'll have to take it up with her."

"Well who is she?" They demanded.

He shrugged, "Some muggle named Rowling, she's like a queen to a great deal of the muggle world."

The dwarves groaned and dropped the subject, they had dealt with enough 'royalty' in their life.


End file.
